In high school I was on the varsity cross country team (as well as track, but that's a story for another time) and out of the eighteen races in the two seasons I competed I was only able to finish half of those. I wonder why, oh yeah! My body hates me! I either ended up having an asthma attack, the equivalent of an asthma attack but with V.C.D, and then that would turn into a panic attack from not being able to breathe, and sometimes, if I was lucky, there was a zombie attack. But that last one was easily dealt with because I have laser eyes. Not only do laser eyes help when battling zombies but they also make cooking food a whole lot easier.
I’ve learned to deal with my breathing for the most part and I only get the attacks when A) I exercise in really hot/cold weather and B) I start out too fast and my lungs and throat can’t keep up with my legs.
This season I started seeing a throat specialist and she taught me a few breathing exercises to help with my V.C.D. and now whenever I use the techniques I feel superior to everything else that breathes because I have a technique, and no one else knows it because they just breathe regularly (not nearly as cool). I can look at other runners when I'm out for a run and be like "Hey, you, I bet you don't have special breathing techniques. Do you? I didn't think so. You're not special like me!" and that's when I run in front of them and show off my superior breathing skills.
Sometimes that plan backfires and I overdo my breathing techniques and I get lightheaded and because of that I have trouble breathing again and I have to stop showing off and then I get all self-conscious. But let me tell you, I look like a superhero when I use my special breathing powers. A fucking superhero. Just call me Super Breathing Girl, because that's what I do now: breathe.